Personal Note from Jacob Walker

I struggle with the value of art. Jacob wrestled an angel in the Bible, and my art often has been the wrestling of myself, my angels, and my demons. It is highly personal, and yet I've semi-exhibitioned it through having this website, and a Blog.

I both want and fear greater attention. My life is moving towards "respectability", and working with children as a teacher and educational system designer. So how does my art, which to some may seem radical (although to many, probably is quite tame), fit within this newer identity? Will sharing my internal dialogue, hurt or help the process? I suspect that I am not alone in my demons, and I have always felt that it is by letting them out, that I don't let them gnaw at my insides...

Although now I come to question that last notion. At one time, I was willing to be depressed for the art, and now as I have learned more of neurology, that made sense. But my "new identity", which still needs creativity, can not sacrifice that, as I need the optimism, and structural building that can lead to true improvement of schools and hopefully society.

What I do know, is even when I thought I would let go, I can not. Art is within me, and while there is bound to be transformation and growth. I will not try to hide that which is me, nor that which was me, and may others judge me not as I was, nor necessarily as I am, but as the transformational process that has moved through the life of this thing I call "I".

- Jacob